About

Bad ideas look good here

There were two of us when this started. There's one of me now, and the name stayed — it still sounds better than the alternative.

I'm Jennifer. I make the designs, write the jokes, and answer the email.

What this is

Sarcastic apparel, barware and drinkware for people who quit apologizing somewhere around 1998. Pirate humor, Gen-X humor, dark-holiday humor, and the occasional joke that only lands if you were there.

None of it is trying to be for everyone. The whole point is that it's for someone specific — and if that's you, you'll know in about four seconds.

Made to order, on purpose

Nothing here sits in a warehouse getting boring. When you order a shirt, that shirt gets printed for you. It takes a few days longer than a company with a shelf full of stock, and in exchange the catalog gets to be weird, deep and specific instead of safe.

It also means a design that only makes four people laugh is still allowed to exist. Those four people can still buy it.

There's a real room behind this

A good share of these designs were drawn for Pirate Cigar at Darkwater Alley — a cigar and espresso lounge in Pinellas Park, Florida, where you can also pull them off the shelf.

That's why the humor runs the way it does. It gets tested on real people, out loud, before anything gets printed.

How this works

Free shipping on every US order. No minimum, no threshold, nothing added at checkout.
Made to order — allow a few days of production before it ships.
A real human answers the email. That human is me.
If it turns up damaged, misprinted, or just not what you ordered, I replace it or refund it. No hoops.

Shipping outside the US? The same designs are on Etsy, which handles international delivery and customs properly.