{"title":"Apparel \u0026 Accessories","description":"\u003cp\u003eShirts and hats that say the quiet part out loud. Soft cotton, sharp mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"smelly-pirate-hooker-tee-gen-x-humor-shirt","title":"Smelly Pirate Hooker T-Shirt - Garment-Dyed Comfort Colors Tee, S to 4XL - Funny Gen X Gift for the Friend Who Quotes Movies","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome shirts tell the joke for you. This one waits about half a second and lets you get there yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA full pirate scene, drawn and inked in burnt orange and amber, with the wording wrapped around it. It gets a double take in the coffee line and a laugh from exactly the right person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A bearded pirate in a tricorn hat inside a circular sunset vignette\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Hand-lettered display type arched above him, bold weathered caps below\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The WHORE ISLAND wordmark across the bottom\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Burnt orange, amber and cream over a dark ground\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Front print only, sized to read from across a room\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Gen X adults who answer real situations with movie lines\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Pirate fans with an adult sense of humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Lounge regulars, rum drinkers and beach bar philosophers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The friend who cannot keep a straight face in a meeting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Birthdays, gag gifts, vacations, and anyone who has been told they should not wear that in public\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1717 unisex garment-dyed t-shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 100% ring-spun US cotton, sewn in Honduras, printed in the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Dyed after it is constructed, so the color is soft and slightly washed from the first wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Knit in one piece with no side seams, so it keeps its shape instead of twisting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Double-needle stitching on all seams\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Six colors: Black, Graphite, Ivory, Midnight, Pepper and Seafoam\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, maximum 30C or 90F\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Iron, steam or dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGrown-ups with a sarcastic streak and a working knowledge of quotable comedy. It reads funny to the people who get it and just reads pirate to everybody else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who is hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It is specific enough to prove you thought about it and funny enough that it actually gets worn, which is where most novelty shirts fail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfort Colors runs relaxed and true to size, and with no side seams it hangs straight rather than tapering. Size up if you want it roomier. Full measurements are in the size chart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat is the shirt actually made of?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% ring-spun US cotton, dyed after it is sewn. That is what gives it the soft, broken-in feel and the slightly faded color on day one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Delivery runs 2-8 business days depending on your location. Each shirt is made to order and printed in the US.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCold wash, tumble dry low, keep the iron off the print. Garment-dyed cotton gets softer every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, smartasses, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":52873785114936,"sku":"27859625565723229125","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ S","offer_id":52873785147704,"sku":"14685648806050784277","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ S","offer_id":52873785180472,"sku":"82832275289822355473","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ S","offer_id":52873785213240,"sku":"27041178703766340975","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Midnight \/ 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XL","offer_id":52873785704760,"sku":"10317812001218410508","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ XL","offer_id":52873785737528,"sku":"59434521189228945798","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ XL","offer_id":52873785770296,"sku":"90249189288450045615","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":52873785803064,"sku":"24374890777156943159","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Midnight \/ XL","offer_id":52873785835832,"sku":"21581800590757795030","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":52873785868600,"sku":"24967680412909396004","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":52873785901368,"sku":"32550382838644268004","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ 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3XL","offer_id":52873786163512,"sku":"10932793954150717171","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":52873786196280,"sku":"21506155420396424837","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Midnight \/ 3XL","offer_id":52873786229048,"sku":"23273935382564511823","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":52873786261816,"sku":"22137679968745182179","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":52873786294584,"sku":"24730928856594916022","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ 4XL","offer_id":52873786327352,"sku":"24640655007118399654","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 4XL","offer_id":52873786360120,"sku":"28757708031169940276","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Midnight \/ 4XL","offer_id":52873786392888,"sku":"19548652020219234549","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 4XL","offer_id":52873786425656,"sku":"33205155111440836022","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ 4XL","offer_id":52873786458424,"sku":"10404229414527432485","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20260829014426-1f1a34b2-ac9f-6318-a15d-faa12aba0396.png?v=1787975741"},{"product_id":"salty-ashhole-flip-flops","title":"Salty Ashhole Flip Flops - Pirate Cigar Beach Sandals with Kraken Art - Gift for the Cigar Guy Who Has Everything","description":"\u003cp\u003eLooking for a gift that is not another boring pair of beach sandals? These Salty Ashhole flip flops bring full pirate attitude to your feet - a cigar-smoking skull, curling tentacles, crossed cigars, compass details, crashing waves, and vintage distressed lettering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey are made for the person who is happiest near the water, has a little attitude, and probably has a story that starts with, “So there we were…” The artwork is loud, colorful, and unapologetically pirate, while the black straps keep the overall look classic enough to wear anywhere summer takes you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What Is In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A cigar-smoking pirate skull wearing a red bandana\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Curling golden tentacles woven throughout the artwork\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Crossed cigars and a vintage nautical compass\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Crashing ocean waves and a dramatic sunset scene\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A pirate ship sailing through the artwork\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Bold distressed SALTY and ASHHOLE lettering\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Pirate Cigar at Darkwater Alley branding\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Rich black, red, cream, gold, and deep ocean tones\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who They Are For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The person who considers “salty” a personality trait\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cigar lovers and pirate enthusiasts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Beach bums, boaters, dockside regulars, and vacation pirates\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Friends with a questionable sense of humor\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Anyone who would rather receive something with personality than another generic beach gift\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Birthdays, Father's Day, beach trips, vacations, stocking stuffers, or just because\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 100% polyester suede footbed for vibrant, high-definition sublimation artwork\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Lightweight 5\/8\" (15 mm) EVA sole for cushioning and flexibility\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Textured, slip-resistant EVA bottom for added traction\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Durable black PVC straps\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Available in sizes S through XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Women's US sizes 7-14 and men's US sizes 5-12; see the size chart for exact measurements\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Designed for casual beach, poolside, vacation, dockside, and everyday summer wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📏 Size Guide\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS: Women's 7-8 \/ Men's 5-6 | 9.84\" long × 3.78\" wide\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eM: Women's 9-10 \/ Men's 7-8 | 10.63\" long × 4.25\" wide\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eL: Women's 11-12 \/ Men's 9-10 | 11.42\" long × 4.49\" wide\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eXL: Women's 13-14 \/ Men's 11-12 | 12.20\" long × 4.72\" wide\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Clean with warm water and dish soap to remove dirt or spots\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- It is not necessary to soak the entire flip flop\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- For stubborn spots, use a soft-bristled brush\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Allow to air dry completely before wearing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this just a regular flip flop with a logo on it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The entire polyester suede footbed is covered with the original Salty Ashhole pirate artwork, from the skull and tentacles down to the waves, cigars, compass, and sunset details.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAre these comfortable for everyday wear?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey are designed with a lightweight 5\/8\" (15 mm) EVA sole for cushioning and flexibility, plus a textured bottom for added traction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho would make a good gift recipient?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe salty friend. The cigar lover. The pirate at heart. The person who already owns enough ordinary flip flops. If they appreciate a little attitude with their beachwear, you've found your gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who is hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, and it is the main reason people buy them. The guy who says he wants nothing already owns socks, a grill tool and three coffee mugs. He does not own a pair of pirate cigar flip flops with his lounge's mark on the footbed. It is specific enough to prove you actually thought about it, and cheap enough to be funny rather than serious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizes S through XL. The size chart includes US women's and men's sizing, plus the actual length and width measurements of each size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S., and they ship from our US facility in Georgia - no customs and no surprise charges at checkout. Each pair is made to order, so it is printed for you rather than pulled off a shelf. Delivery runs 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I clean them?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUse warm water with a little dish soap for dirt or spots. For tougher areas, use a soft-bristled brush. There is no need to soak the entire flip flop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location. These flip flops are made to order, so your pair is produced specifically for your order rather than sitting in a warehouse waiting for a new owner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✏️ A Note On The Art\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOriginal artwork by Dastardly Duo Designs. Because monitors and screens display color differently, printed colors may vary slightly from what you see on your screen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🦜 More From The Ashhole Crew\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Salty Ashhole mug, the Officer Ashhole tee and the Officer Ashhole zip hoodie all run the same artwork family. Search \"Ashhole\" in the shop to see the rest of the crew.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, cigar lovers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black sole","offer_id":52873795305784,"sku":"15992819146377380149","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black sole","offer_id":52873795338552,"sku":"15665510173346241661","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black sole","offer_id":52873795371320,"sku":"15479866607810231318","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black sole","offer_id":52873795404088,"sku":"16292963039559333078","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20260829011230-1f1a346b-4f4f-62cc-ae0e-7205ff53e0cc.png?v=1787975794"},{"product_id":"black-leather-patch-dad-hat-pirate-cigar-lounge","title":"Pirate Cigar Leather Patch Hat - Black Baseball Cap - Gift for the Cigar Smoker Who Only Wears One Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do you put on when you want the hat to say something without shouting it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one is a plain black dad cap with a round leather patch stitched to the front, and the patch does all the talking. Kraken tentacles, a crossed-arms crest, and the name of a real cigar lounge in Pinellas Park, Florida. Up close it is a whole little engraving. From across a parking lot it just reads as a good black hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is the point. It goes to the lounge, the hardware store and the airport without changing character.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- PIRATE CIGAR arched across the top of the patch in a vintage condensed face\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A kraken drawn in old engraving line work, tentacles curling out of a double-ruled ring\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The head and two crossed arms reading as a skull and crossbones at the center\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- at DARKWATER ALLEY curved along the bottom\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Black line art on a light brown patch, stitched all the way around\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cigar smokers who want lounge gear that is not a giveaway cap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Lounge regulars, humidor owners, and people who buy hats one at a time\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Kraken and nautical folks who like their pirate stuff drawn, not cartooned\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Fathers, husbands, groomsmen, and the guy who wears the same hat every day\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Birthdays, Christmas, Father's Day, or a Saturday he earned\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Black six-panel dad hat, unstructured and low profile\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Pre-curved bill, ready to wear with no break-in\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 100% bio-washed chino twill cotton, soft and slow to wrinkle\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Round patch in 100% PU leather, vegan, with decorative stitching around the edge and glue reinforcement behind it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Antique brass buckle closure, adjustable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- One size fits most: 23.82 in circumference, 4.55 in crown height, 2.76 in bill\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Blank sourced from Bangladesh, printed and finished in the United States, made to order\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Hand wash only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Air dry flat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach and do not tumble dry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCigar smokers and lounge regulars who want something they can actually wear every day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, and it is the usual reason people buy it. He already owns the lighter, the cutter and three shirts he never wears. A plain black cap with a leather patch is the rare gift that goes straight into rotation instead of into a drawer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it \/ how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne size fits most, adjusted with the antique brass buckle at the back. The band measures 23.82 inches around, the crown is 4.55 inches tall and the bill is 2.76 inches long. Unstructured and low profile, so it sits close instead of standing up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand wash only and air dry flat. No bleach, no dryer. The patch is stitched and glued, so a machine wash is how you lose it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, cigar smokers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Light Brown \/ Circle \/ One size","offer_id":52873801433400,"sku":"15575854103894120040","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20260829003009-1f1a340c-a90f-6424-8f94-c225d3fde9a5.png?v=1787975979"},{"product_id":"pirate-university-sweatshirt-funny-collegiate-crest-with-cigar-skull-gift-for-the-cigar-guy-who-has-everything","title":"Pirate University Sweatshirt - Funny Collegiate Crest with Cigar Skull - Gift for the Cigar Guy Who Has Everything","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do you get the man who owns four lighters and needs none of them?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePirate University is not accredited and does not intend to be. The crest is real enough: ships in the letters, a skull that graduated anyway, and a cigar it has no intention of putting out. The motto does the rest of the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the lounge and let someone ask.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- PIRATE UNIVERSITY arched across the top in cream collegiate letters with navy and gold outlines\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Big PU letterforms with tall ships and open water sailing inside them\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A skull in a mortarboard with a gold tassel, aviator sunglasses reflecting a sunset at sea, and a bandana with a skull and crossbones\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A lit cigar with a PU band clenched in its teeth, smoke curling up\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A banner reading We Reek of Excellence\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cream, gold and navy blue, drawn in a weathered varsity style\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cigar smokers with a sense of humor about it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Lounge regulars and the people who put up with them\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Anyone who earned their education somewhere other than a classroom\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas, retirement, graduation for someone who never graduated\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Gildan 18000 Heavy Blend unisex crewneck sweatshirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cotton and polyester blend, sewn in Nicaragua, printed in the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Knit in one piece with no side seams, so it holds its shape\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Ribbed knit collar that keeps its stretch\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Relaxed fit. Seven colors in S through 2XL; 3XL in Sand, White and Black; 4XL in Black\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, maximum 30C or 90F\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine bleach only when needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCigar smokers, pirate-adjacent adults, and anyone who thinks a crest is funnier when it admits what it smells like.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It is specific enough to prove you paid attention and funny enough that he will actually wear it, which is the part most gifts miss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it and how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnisex sizing, true to size, relaxed through the body. Size up for a looser layering fit. Full measurements are in the size chart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Delivery runs 2-8 business days depending on your location. Each one is made to order and printed in the US.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCold wash, tumble dry low, and no iron on it. Non-chlorine bleach is fine if you need it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, cigar smokers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 18000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: Made in Nicaragua, For adults\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":52873801564472,"sku":"17760928266731118866","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":52873801597240,"sku":"67920494387023845331","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sand","offer_id":52873801630008,"sku":"91745123906198032811","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":52873801662776,"sku":"26046730070000437112","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":52873801695544,"sku":"22991653994876156635","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":52873801728312,"sku":"65240377560232933191","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Forest 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Logo and Back Print Comfort Colors Tee - Gift for the Cigar Smoker Who Has Everything","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do you get the guy who owns every cigar accessory and still dresses like he doesn't care?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one carries the lounge on the front and the attitude on the back. A small Pirate Cigar at Darkwater Alley crest over the heart, and a full Salty Ashhole back print that says exactly what kind of refined you are. Refined taste, unrefined disposition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGarment-dyed Comfort Colors, so it wears in like a shirt you've owned for years the day it shows up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Front: a small Pirate Cigar at Darkwater Alley chest crest, a skull over two crossed cigars in a red ring with gold kraken tentacles, Pinellas Park, Florida beneath\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Back: SALTY ASHHOLE in big weathered gold letters over a lit cigar with a skull band\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Kraken tentacles wrapping a fouled anchor under the cigar\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A banner reading Refined Taste. Unrefined Disposition. with Pirate Cigar at Darkwater Alley beneath it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Weathered, hand-inked vintage look in gold and brown\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cigar smokers who own the joke\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Lounge regulars and the crew at Darkwater Alley\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Gen X grown-ups with great taste and a terrible attitude\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas, and any day that ends in a cigar\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1717 unisex garment-dyed t-shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 100% ring-spun US cotton, sewn in Honduras, printed in the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Dyed after it is constructed, so the color is soft and slightly washed from the first wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Knit in one piece with no side seams, so it keeps its shape instead of twisting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Double-needle stitching on all seams\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Front chest print and full back print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Relaxed fit. Black in S through 4XL, Pepper in M through 2XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Iron, steam or dry on low heat, and keep the iron off the print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCigar smokers, pirates at heart, and anyone who wants great taste and a terrible attitude on the same shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, and it is the main reason people buy it. He already owns the lighter, the cutter, and three coffee mugs. He does not own a garment-dyed shirt with his lounge on the chest and a cigar-smoking crest on the back. Specific enough to prove you actually thought about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it and how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfort Colors runs relaxed and true to size, and with no side seams it hangs straight rather than tapering. Size down for a closer fit. Full measurements are in the size chart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Delivery runs 2-8 business days depending on your location. Each shirt is made to order and printed in the US.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold inside out, tumble dry low, and keep the iron off the print. Garment-dyed cotton gets softer every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🦜 More From The Ashhole Crew\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRank up the collection: the Salty Ashhole mug and the Salty Ashhole flip flops are in the shop too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, cigar smokers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Comfort Colors® 1717, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: Made in Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":52873803039032,"sku":"32020618434697599862","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":52873803071800,"sku":"38990210034326392271","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":52873803104568,"sku":"26161075113042461211","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":52873803137336,"sku":"14239547822117309137","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":52873803170104,"sku":"87659559779039086092","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":52873803202872,"sku":"11410206618852267212","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":52873803235640,"sku":"13165249609589713298","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":52873803268408,"sku":"15500965368520589296","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":52873803301176,"sku":"16162188700816857151","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":52873803333944,"sku":"10508240780236013562","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":52873803366712,"sku":"14636521147091783889","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20260829001616-1f1a33ed-9c1a-6260-9ac8-165641b3b9f0.png?v=1788652681"},{"product_id":"saggy-boo-bees-halloween-sweatshirt","title":"Boo Bees Halloween Sweatshirt - Saggy Ghost Bee Comfort Colors Crewneck - Funny Gift for the Friend Who Burned Her Underwire","description":"\u003cp\u003eEver met a ghost who quit apologizing somewhere around 1998? These two did, and they never looked back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGravity took what it wanted years ago. They kept the martinis, the good earrings, and every opinion they have ever had. They are not haunting anybody. They are holding court.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Two hand-illustrated ghost bees who have earned every wrinkle\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Martinis with olives, gold hoop earrings, a leopard head scarf and a polka-dot kerchief\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- One pair of sunglasses worn indoors, on purpose\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Hand-lettered SAGGY BOO BEES in weathered sea-green and bone\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Real ink texture and grain - drawn, not pulled from a clip-art bin\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The friend who stopped sucking it in and got happier immediately\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Mothers, aunts and grandmothers who are funnier than the rest of the family\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Anyone who thinks Halloween should involve fewer costumes and more cocktails\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Bee people, ghost people, and the people who are both\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- October gifting, fall birthdays, and the group chat that plans the party\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1466 unisex lightweight crewneck\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Garment-dyed cotton - soft and broken-in from the first wear, relaxed fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Sizes S through 3XL, fourteen colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed in the USA\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not iron directly on the design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGrown women whose sense of humor got sharper as the years went on. It reads Halloween in October and reads honest the rest of the year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It is the rare funny sweatshirt she will actually put on, because the joke is one she already makes about herself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it and how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfort Colors runs relaxed and true to size. Sizes S through 3XL in fourteen colors. Size up for an oversized fit. Full measurements are in the size chart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Delivery runs 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCold wash inside out, tumble dry low. It gets softer every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, ghosts, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":52923974058296,"sku":"23788962415234620103","price":49.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":53128553791800,"sku":"90598395250951173648","price":49.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ S","offer_id":52923974091064,"sku":"22158784865543982915","price":49.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ S","offer_id":52923974123832,"sku":"11058521900584825981","price":49.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ 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It reads Halloween in October and plain salty the rest of the year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Specific enough to feel personal, funny enough that they will actually wear it - which is more than most novelty sweatshirts manage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it and how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfort Colors runs relaxed and true to size. Size up for an oversized fit. Full measurements are in the size chart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is calculated at checkout and the delivery estimate is shown before you pay. 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3XL","offer_id":52952857542968,"sku":"23234940370886939473","price":47.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 3XL","offer_id":52952857575736,"sku":"18713602346918747395","price":47.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":52952857608504,"sku":"14921046871281089873","price":47.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":52952857641272,"sku":"13415635300727419647","price":47.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Peachy \/ 3XL","offer_id":52952857674040,"sku":"24821892883917636693","price":47.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":52952857706808,"sku":"19986598550571181859","price":47.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":52952857739576,"sku":"14328545616084321269","price":47.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yam \/ 3XL","offer_id":52952857772344,"sku":"61382298650522718238","price":47.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hydrangea \/ 3XL","offer_id":52952857805112,"sku":"19311787776229547781","price":47.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Neon Violet \/ 3XL","offer_id":52952857837880,"sku":"26037329841364155759","price":47.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20260914010411-1f1afd83-23f9-65b4-9089-ea67a2846891.png?v=1789692622"},{"product_id":"custom-birth-year-cigar-shirt-for-dad-personalized-comfort-colors-tee-s-to-3xl-gift-for-the-dad-who-says-he-does-not-want-anything","title":"Custom Birth Year Cigar Shirt for Dad - Personalized Comfort Colors Tee, S to 3XL - Gift for the Dad Who Says He Does Not Want Anything","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do you get the dad who has already told everyone he does not want anything?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA shirt with his own year on it. Not a joke about being old, a joke about being a model that still runs. Type in his birth year, we swap it into the design, and he gets the one shirt at the cookout nobody else can buy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- His birth year in big distressed letters, MODEL VINTAGE EDITION underneath, right where a badge would sit on a hood\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A wooden ship's wheel with brass banding and a small skull at the hub\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A lit cigar resting across the wheel, smoke curling up\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Four lines of fine print: Still Running. Barely, Powered by Cigars \u0026amp; Bad Decisions, Not Responsible for Bad Jokes or Unsolicited Advice, Rare Weathered One of a Kind\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cream lettering and warm wood tones on a dark navy plank background\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Front print only, sized to read from across the yard\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Dads, granddads, stepdads and the uncle who did most of the raising\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cigar smokers who have a favorite chair and an opinion about everyone else's\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Boat guys, porch sitters, and men who have retired from apologizing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The adult kid who is done giving socks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Father's Day, his birthday, Christmas, retirement, or the year he turns a number he does not want to talk about\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Personalized: type the birth year in the personalization box when you order (1978, say) and the year on the shirt is changed to match before it prints\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1717 unisex garment-dyed t-shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 100% ring-spun US cotton, sewn in Honduras, printed in the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Dyed after it is constructed, so the color is soft and slightly washed from the first wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Knit in one piece with no side seams, so it keeps its shape instead of twisting\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Double-needle stitching on all seams\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Relaxed fit, sizes S through 3XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Five colors: Black, Blue Jean, Blue Spruce, Grey and Pepper. Not every color comes in every size; the picker shows what is available\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, maximum 30C or 90F\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Iron, steam or dry on low heat, and keep the iron off the print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA dad who smokes cigars, tells the same three jokes, and would rather be on a boat. It reads Father's Day in June and reads like him the rest of the year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It has his year on it, so it is his and nobody else's, and it is funny in the way he is funny. That is the whole reason it gets worn instead of folded into a drawer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow does the personalization work?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEnter his birth year when you order. We change the year in the design to match and print it exactly as shown in the photos, with his year in place of 1969.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it \/ how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfort Colors runs relaxed and true to size, and with no side seams it hangs straight rather than tapering. Size up if he likes it roomy. Full measurements are in the size chart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Delivery runs 2-8 business days depending on your location. Each shirt is made to order and printed in the US.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCold wash inside out, tumble dry low, keep the iron off the print. Garment-dyed cotton gets softer every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, dads, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Comfort Colors® 1717, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: Made in Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":53021431693624,"sku":"24179593592470277102","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":53021431726392,"sku":"17144168325088872317","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ S","offer_id":53021431759160,"sku":"24731874218587725606","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":53021431791928,"sku":"25684000109374859600","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":53021431824696,"sku":"94175522425922870094","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ M","offer_id":53021431857464,"sku":"50660859247350724856","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ M","offer_id":53021431890232,"sku":"28772387328646795806","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ M","offer_id":53021431923000,"sku":"26140313236596764899","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":53021431955768,"sku":"26539000388773407652","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":53021431988536,"sku":"27420390542976596448","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ L","offer_id":53021432021304,"sku":"17702388539107851142","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ L","offer_id":53021432054072,"sku":"30682809747523298978","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ L","offer_id":53021432086840,"sku":"21254620176429663079","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":53021432119608,"sku":"19446601544005146613","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":53021432152376,"sku":"27246974008983659784","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ XL","offer_id":53021432185144,"sku":"23986905599914384742","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ XL","offer_id":53021432217912,"sku":"16110577288434116930","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ XL","offer_id":53021432250680,"sku":"11157113171520679936","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":53021432283448,"sku":"26862268783023109992","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":53021432316216,"sku":"70887848933333501843","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 2XL","offer_id":53021432348984,"sku":"10254289969210643145","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ 2XL","offer_id":53021432381752,"sku":"32420437238313475523","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":53021432414520,"sku":"13733948466652377474","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":53021432447288,"sku":"11454796943793949789","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":53021432480056,"sku":"10035452929980719439","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":53021432512824,"sku":"23580542056341060025","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20260924191455-1f1b84c3-a1c4-6b02-a22d-aec1d60498cb.png?v=1790277576"},{"product_id":"dont-be-a-wench-pirate-tote-bag-funny-sarcastic-sail-yer-ship-bag-gift-for-her-pirate-lover-beach-and-book-tote","title":"Don't Be A Wench Pirate Tote Bag - Funny Sarcastic Sail Yer Ship Bag - Gift for Her, Pirate Lover, Beach and Book Tote","description":"\u003cp\u003eKnow a woman who steers her own ship and doesn't take orders from anybody? This is a funny pirate tote bag that says DON'T BE A WENCH up top and OWN YER SHIT, SAIL YER SHIP down below, with a lady captain at the helm in between.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the bag for the one who handles her business, says what she means, and still has a wicked sense of humor about it. Salty, bold, and ready to haul whatever she throws in it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- DON'T BE A WENCH in weathered black lettering\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- OWN YER SHIT, SAIL YER SHIP across the bottom\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A lady pirate captain at the ship's wheel, hat, coat and all\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Vintage woodcut style in solid black on a white bag\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed on both sides\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Women who run their own ship and want a bag that says so\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Pirate lovers, Renaissance faire regulars and sea-shanty fans\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The friend with the sharpest sense of humor in the group\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Birthdays, girls' trips, new-job or new-chapter gifts, and \"just because\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Anyone who needs a book bag, beach bag or grocery tote with some attitude\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📏 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 100% polyester, 200 g\/m², with a non-woven laminate interior\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Reinforced stitched handles\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Three sizes: 13\" x 13\", 16\" x 16\" and 18\" x 18\" (sizes may vary by about 0.75\")\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Five handle colors: Black, White, Red, Beige and Navy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed to order in the USA\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Empty the bag before cleaning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Spot clean with a damp cloth and mild soap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Air dry, no bleach, and don't iron the print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe woman who captains her own life and has a salty sense of humor about it, and anyone buying a gift for one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's useful every day, it's funny, and it says you know exactly who she is. Nobody else is showing up with this one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it \/ how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePick 13\" for a small book or lunch bag, 16\" for everyday errands, or 18\" for beach days and big grocery runs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Each bag is printed to order in the U.S., with delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSpot clean with a damp cloth and mild soap, then let it air dry. Keep bleach and irons away from the print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, captains of their own ship, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"13\" × 13'' \/ Black","offer_id":53022387896632,"sku":"14458105375593470041","price":25.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"13\" × 13'' \/ Red","offer_id":53022387929400,"sku":"33620242822413856755","price":25.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"13\" × 13'' \/ White","offer_id":53022387962168,"sku":"43330736960707673023","price":25.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"13\" × 13'' \/ Beige","offer_id":53022387994936,"sku":"19270930580636925347","price":25.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"13\" × 13'' \/ Navy","offer_id":53022388027704,"sku":"27679544742455316746","price":25.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16\" × 16'' \/ Black","offer_id":53022388060472,"sku":"30075744099451292018","price":29.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16\" × 16'' \/ Red","offer_id":53022388093240,"sku":"21616184219787879187","price":29.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16\" × 16'' \/ White","offer_id":53022388126008,"sku":"16761556969747568943","price":29.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16\" × 16'' \/ Beige","offer_id":53022388158776,"sku":"12883080012558165868","price":29.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16\" × 16'' \/ Navy","offer_id":53022388191544,"sku":"31729597419083316846","price":29.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Black","offer_id":53022388224312,"sku":"17336861119208710283","price":32.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Red","offer_id":53022388257080,"sku":"60958664139703549773","price":32.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ White","offer_id":53022388289848,"sku":"25750949784212475340","price":32.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Beige","offer_id":53022388322616,"sku":"25550764940141087155","price":32.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18\" × 18'' \/ Navy","offer_id":53022388355384,"sku":"42037050506466195694","price":32.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20260925025427-1f1b88c6-c6d0-64bc-9382-f67b7f0a8475.png?v=1790305579"},{"product_id":"krampus-you-deserve-it-crewneck-sweatshirt-comfort-colors-vintage-christmas-horror-sweater-krampusnacht-gift-for-folklore-fans","title":"Krampus 'You Deserve It' Crewneck Sweatshirt - Comfort Colors Vintage Christmas Horror Sweater - Krampusnacht Gift for Folklore Fans","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do you get the person who has been a little bit naughty and is proud of every minute of it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one. A Comfort Colors crewneck with the Christmas Devil front and center, chains rattling, switch in hand, and a fair warning arched over his horns: have the Christmas you deserve. Soft, broken-in, and just threatening enough for the family photo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Krampus mid-stride: curled horns, red tongue out, a wicker basket on his back and a birch switch in his fist\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Chains at his wrists and ankles, with snowy Alpine peaks and pines behind him\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- HAVE THE CHRISTMAS YOU DESERVE arched across the top in frosted, icicle-dripped lettering\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A Blackletter Krampus title underneath, framed in frosted fir boughs, pinecones, red berries and gold scrollwork\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Full-color print on the front; the back and sleeves are left plain\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Krampus and Krampusnacht fans\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Anyone who likes their Christmas a few shades darker than the neighbors'\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Folklore, gothic-holiday and horror fans, and anyone with Alpine roots who grew up on the story\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The one on the naughty list who wears it like a badge\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Anyone who already has our Krampus beer stein and wants the sweatshirt to match\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Ugly sweater parties, white elephant swaps, Krampusnacht on December 5, and cold nights by the fire\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1466 unisex lightweight crewneck sweatshirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 100% ring-spun cotton, light fabric (6.4 oz\/yd²), relaxed fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 1x1 ribbed cuffs and hem, twill tape at the shoulders and neck, no side seams\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Sizes S through 3XL in 14 colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Blank sourced from El Salvador, printed in the USA and made to order\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach or dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Iron on low heat if needed, never directly on the print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who loves Krampus, Alpine folklore, or a Christmas sweater with teeth instead of a cartoon reindeer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It is specific, seasonal, and wearable well past December. The person who says they want nothing does not already own a Krampus crewneck.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it, and how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfort Colors runs relaxed and true to size, so size up if you want it oversized. Measured flat, the chest runs 20 inches across at S up to 30 inches at 3XL, and the length runs 27 to 32 inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. It is made to order and ships from the US, with delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash cold inside out and tumble dry low. It gets softer with every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. 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A heavyweight Comfort Colors hoodie with a pirate captain on the back, cigar in his teeth and a mug of grog in hand, happily signing his own name to the naughty list. The scroll underneath says what he is thinking: Santa, stop judging me. A small Naughty-List Captain crest rides on the chest, so the front stays classy until you turn around.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- On the back: a grinning pirate captain in a holly-trimmed tricorn and red bandana, cigar smoking, pewter skull-and-crossbones mug raised\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Quill in hand, he signs a long naughty-list scroll by candlelight, with a ship's lantern, rope and compass roses around him\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- THE NAUGHTY-LIST CAPTAIN across the top in vintage cream-and-red lettering\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- \"Santa, stop judging me.\" on the parchment banner, framed in holly, red ribbon and gold scrollwork\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- On the front: a small Naughty-List Captain crest on the left chest, with gold scrollwork, a compass rose and holly berries\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cigar lovers, rum drinkers and pirate fans who treat the naughty list like a leaderboard\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The person who is impossible to shop for\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Anyone who likes their Christmas with more mischief than tinsel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Lounge nights, ugly sweater parties, white elephant swaps and cold evenings by the fire pit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1567 unisex garment-dyed hoodie\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 80% ring-spun US cotton, 20% polyester, with a 100% cotton face\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Heavy fabric (9.5 oz\/yd²), relaxed fit, rolled-forward shoulder\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Jersey-lined hood with a color-matched flat drawcord, 1x1 ribbed cuffs and hem\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed on the front and the back\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Sizes S through 3XL in 11 garment-dyed colors, from Pepper and Blue Spruce to Seafoam, Crimson and True Navy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed in the USA and made to order\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach or dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Iron on low heat if needed, never directly on the print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who loves cigars, rum, pirates, or a Christmas hoodie with a sense of humor instead of a cartoon reindeer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It is funny, specific, and warm enough to wear all winter. The person who says they want nothing does not already own a pirate signing his own name to the naughty list.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it, and how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfort Colors runs relaxed, so take your usual size for a roomy fit or size up for an oversized one. Measured flat, the chest runs 21 inches across at S up to 29.5 inches at 3XL, and the length runs 27.5 to 32.5 inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. It is made to order and ships from the US, with delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash cold inside out and tumble dry low. Garment-dyed cotton gets softer with every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, cigar lovers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":53035480285496,"sku":"20419859667516940673","price":67.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ S","offer_id":53035480318264,"sku":"14419892367831133575","price":67.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Denim \/ S","offer_id":53035480351032,"sku":"23392026117381109713","price":67.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Flo Blue \/ S","offer_id":53035480383800,"sku":"51613217010819832818","price":67.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 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A heavyweight Comfort Colors crewneck with a pirate captain across the front, cigar in his teeth and a mug of grog in hand, happily signing his own name to the naughty list. The scroll underneath says what he is thinking: Santa, stop judging me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A grinning pirate captain in a holly-trimmed tricorn and red bandana, cigar smoking, pewter skull-and-crossbones mug raised\u003cbr\u003e- Quill in hand, he signs a long naughty-list scroll by candlelight, with a ship's lantern, rope and compass roses around him\u003cbr\u003e- THE NAUGHTY-LIST CAPTAIN across the top in vintage cream-and-red lettering\u003cbr\u003e- \"Santa, stop judging me.\" on the parchment banner, framed in holly, red ribbon and gold scrollwork\u003cbr\u003e- Printed big on the front, so the whole room gets the joke\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cigar lovers, rum drinkers and pirate fans who treat the naughty list like a leaderboard\u003cbr\u003e- The person who is impossible to shop for\u003cbr\u003e- Anyone who likes their Christmas with more mischief than tinsel\u003cbr\u003e- Lounge nights, ugly sweater parties, white elephant swaps and cold evenings by the fire pit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1566 unisex garment-dyed crewneck sweatshirt\u003cbr\u003e- 80% ring-spun cotton, 20% polyester\u003cbr\u003e- Medium-heavy fabric (9.5 oz\/yd²), relaxed fit\u003cbr\u003e- 1x1 ribbed collar, cuffs and hem, twill neck tape and a half-moon patch at the back of the neck\u003cbr\u003e- Printed on the front\u003cbr\u003e- Sizes S through 3XL in 19 garment-dyed colors, from Pepper and True Navy to Crimson, Blue Spruce and Watermelon (3XL comes in a smaller set of colors)\u003cbr\u003e- Printed in the USA and made to order\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine bleach only if needed\u003cbr\u003e- Do not iron or dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003cbr\u003eAnyone who loves cigars, rum, pirates, or a Christmas sweatshirt with a sense of humor instead of a cartoon reindeer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003cbr\u003eYes. It is funny, specific, and warm enough to wear all winter. The person who says they want nothing does not already own a pirate signing his own name to the naughty list.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it, and how does it fit?\u003cbr\u003eComfort Colors runs relaxed, so take your usual size for a roomy fit or size up for an oversized one. Measured flat, the chest runs 21 inches across at S up to 29.5 inches at 3XL, and the length runs 27.5 to 32.5 inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003cbr\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. It is made to order and ships from the US, with delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003cbr\u003eWash cold inside out and tumble dry low. Skip the iron. Garment-dyed cotton gets softer with every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003cbr\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003cbr\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, cigar lovers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":53045814657336,"sku":"11898516182960141454","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Spruce \/ S","offer_id":53045814690104,"sku":"16695355006709749991","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ S","offer_id":53045814722872,"sku":"24495553078679402173","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ S","offer_id":53045814755640,"sku":"73309704102180596581","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":53045814788408,"sku":"24642719213260428601","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crimson \/ 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Two palm trees, a big golden sun and turquoise waves, all under a retro script that says Palmy Breezes. It's soft, it's roomy, and every sale helps a good cause: a portion of proceeds goes to support families living with Alzheimer's disease.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Two tall palm trees swaying in front of a big golden sun\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A coral hibiscus flower tucked into deep green tropical leaves\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- \"Palmy Breezes\" in a bold retro script with a coral and gold shadow\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- FLORIDA on a banner over turquoise waves, with a little palm island on the horizon\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Two seagulls heading off toward the sun\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed big on the front, like a vintage beach postcard\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Moms, grandmas, sisters and best friends who live for beach days\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Florida locals, and everyone who wishes they were one\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Travelers, snowbirds and anyone counting down to the next trip\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Gift buyers who want something that gives back\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Cool beach nights, road trips, cruises and lazy Sunday mornings\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🤍 Giving Back\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA portion of proceeds from this design is donated to a national organization that supports families and caregivers affected by Alzheimer's disease. Palmy Breezes is a design close to our hearts, and every order helps.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1566 unisex garment-dyed crewneck sweatshirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 80% ring-spun cotton, 20% polyester\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Medium-heavy fabric (9.5 oz\/yd²), relaxed fit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 1x1 ribbed collar, cuffs and hem, twill neck tape and a half-moon patch at the back of the neck\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed on the front\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Sizes S through 3XL in six garment-dyed colors: Seafoam, Lagoon Blue, Butter, Chalky Mint, Blue Jean and Pepper\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed in the USA and made to order\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine bleach only if needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not iron or dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who loves the beach, palm trees and sunshine, and anyone who needs a little vacation feeling on a cold day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It is cozy, bright and easy to wear all year. It also gives back, so it means a little more than the usual sweatshirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it, and how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfort Colors runs relaxed, so take your usual size for a roomy fit or size up for an oversized one. Measured flat, the chest runs 21 inches across at S up to 29.5 inches at 3XL, and the length runs 27.5 to 32.5 inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. It is made to order and ships from the US, with delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash cold inside out and tumble dry low. Skip the iron. Garment-dyed cotton gets softer with every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, beach lovers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":53046657843512,"sku":"26705445093819459282","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ S","offer_id":53046657876280,"sku":"23489925615104055080","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ S","offer_id":53046657909048,"sku":"30472155017906150422","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ S","offer_id":53046657941816,"sku":"26918954709712542395","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ S","offer_id":53046657974584,"sku":"89081451082123233862","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ M","offer_id":53046658007352,"sku":"26076230814058799034","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ M","offer_id":53046658040120,"sku":"21875883999341679971","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ M","offer_id":53046658072888,"sku":"76757591358825547438","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ M","offer_id":53046658105656,"sku":"11461615091643896838","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ M","offer_id":53046658138424,"sku":"15128558328560433472","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ L","offer_id":53046658171192,"sku":"63138455544365383313","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ L","offer_id":53046658203960,"sku":"57588854102282893041","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ L","offer_id":53046658236728,"sku":"15416623735071307992","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ L","offer_id":53046658269496,"sku":"28784518459231361339","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ L","offer_id":53046658302264,"sku":"75794572822544353427","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ XL","offer_id":53046658335032,"sku":"31311457357645642887","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ XL","offer_id":53046658367800,"sku":"28173821891047570266","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ XL","offer_id":53046658400568,"sku":"21565887304297814509","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ XL","offer_id":53046658433336,"sku":"29773152749457874859","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ XL","offer_id":53046658466104,"sku":"23314360638223156908","price":48.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 2XL","offer_id":53046658498872,"sku":"12392043916388096739","price":53.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ 2XL","offer_id":53046658531640,"sku":"17923394891097973540","price":53.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ 2XL","offer_id":53046658564408,"sku":"12400749908369189116","price":53.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 2XL","offer_id":53046658597176,"sku":"23431142606850364389","price":53.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ 2XL","offer_id":53046658629944,"sku":"17152882281187717221","price":53.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 3XL","offer_id":53046658662712,"sku":"11857579741450901603","price":62.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butter \/ 3XL","offer_id":53046658695480,"sku":"10480184710009133775","price":62.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chalky Mint \/ 3XL","offer_id":53046658728248,"sku":"67220854857581945896","price":62.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pepper \/ 3XL","offer_id":53046658761016,"sku":"20967163563716245614","price":62.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ 3XL","offer_id":53046658793784,"sku":"16568806492029119767","price":62.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20260928000743-1f1bad0a-099f-6bdc-941b-be627372587d.png?v=1790554529"},{"product_id":"officer-ashhole-shark-rider-tee","title":"Officer Ashhole Shark Rider Tee - Pirate Riding a Shark Graphic T-Shirt, Comfort Colors - Funny Gift for the Cigar Guy Who Has Everything","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do you get the cigar guy who already has the humidor, the cutter and the opinions? A pirate riding a great white shark through cannon fire, with a cigar clamped in his teeth. That is Officer Ashhole, and this is his shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo slogan and no punchline printed on it. The picture does the talking, and it gets a comment every time he wears it out.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- A bearded pirate in a tricorn and long coat, riding a great white shark like he has done it before\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- A lit cigar in his teeth and a cutlass raised over his head\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- The shark mid-lunge with its jaws wide open\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- A sea battle behind them: tall ships on fire, cannon smoke and breaking waves\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Painted in deep sea teal, bone white, rust and red\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- The dark parts of the art are left open, so the shirt color shows through instead of a heavy block of ink\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- The cigar smoker with a pirate streak and no interest in subtle\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- The Gen X dad, husband or buddy who is impossible to shop for\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Shark people, boat people and lounge regulars\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas and Secret Santa\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1717 garment-dyed t-shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- 100% ring-spun cotton with a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Relaxed unisex fit\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sizes S to 4XL\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Two shirt colors: Black and True Navy\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Printed on the front\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Price is for one shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not iron directly on the print\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe cigar lover with a pirate streak and a sense of humor about himself.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYes. He does not own a shirt with a pirate riding a shark on it, and he will wear this one until it falls apart.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHow does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt is a relaxed unisex fit and runs true to size. Check the size chart in the photos, and size up if he likes it roomy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Delivery takes 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWash it cold and inside out, then tumble dry low.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools. All of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty. Every item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e☠️ Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, cigar smokers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":53075035324728,"sku":"10071614278965532756","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ S","offer_id":53075035357496,"sku":"24221634249153669773","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":53075035390264,"sku":"84026965536932838985","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ M","offer_id":53075035423032,"sku":"89028611653128288275","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":53075035455800,"sku":"31607350237410411481","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ L","offer_id":53075035488568,"sku":"31402567515187169161","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":53075035521336,"sku":"10778592196638269113","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ XL","offer_id":53075035554104,"sku":"54282210009510820205","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":53075035586872,"sku":"21649914532482090315","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":53075035619640,"sku":"14272718324896403281","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":53075035652408,"sku":"22181925859612720509","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":53075035685176,"sku":"29690956156963946009","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":53075035717944,"sku":"14827735101698419249","price":30.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"True Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":53075035750712,"sku":"23018151231982396520","price":30.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20261004001750-1f1bf890-8d51-6a08-b732-66bbbb56b3f7.png?v=1791073154"},{"product_id":"officer-ashhole-shark-rider-sweatshirt","title":"Officer Ashhole Shark Rider Sweatshirt - Pirate Riding a Shark Graphic Crewneck - Funny Gift for the Cigar Guy Who Has Everything","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do you get the cigar guy who already has the humidor, the cutter and the opinions? A pirate riding a great white shark through cannon fire, with a cigar clamped in his teeth. That is Officer Ashhole, and this is his sweatshirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo slogan and no punchline printed on it. The picture does the talking, and it gets a comment every time he wears it out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A bearded pirate in a tricorn and long coat, riding a great white shark like he has done it before\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A lit cigar in his teeth and a cutlass raised over his head\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The shark mid-lunge with its jaws wide open\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A sea battle behind them: tall ships on fire, cannon smoke and breaking waves\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Painted in deep sea teal, bone white, rust and red\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The dark parts of the art are left open, so the sweatshirt color shows through instead of a heavy block of ink\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The cigar smoker with a pirate streak and no interest in subtle\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The Gen X dad, husband or buddy who is impossible to shop for\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Shark people, boat people and lounge regulars\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas and Secret Santa\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Gildan SF000 Softstyle midweight crewneck sweatshirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 80% ring-spun cotton, 20% polyester, with a 100% cotton face that holds the print sharp (Dark Heather is a 50\/50 cotton-poly blend)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Medium-heavy 8.4 oz fleece with a brushed inside\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Classic unisex fit with dropped shoulders\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Sizes S to 4XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Three colors: Black, Navy and Dark Heather\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed on the front\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Price is for one sweatshirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine bleach only if needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Iron on low, never directly on the print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cigar lover with a pirate streak and a sense of humor about himself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. He does not own a sweatshirt with a pirate riding a shark on it, and he will live in this one all winter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a classic unisex fit with dropped shoulders. Check the size chart in the photos, and size up if he likes it roomy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is calculated at checkout. Delivery takes 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash it cold and inside out, then tumble dry low.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is calculated at checkout - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools. All of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty. Every item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e☠️ Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, cigar smokers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Dark Heather \/ S","offer_id":53106652578104,"sku":"93017534222604574942","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":53106652610872,"sku":"11925493181374516487","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":53106652643640,"sku":"15062555315754931282","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ M","offer_id":53106652676408,"sku":"10179698176408183761","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":53106652709176,"sku":"26847366636986593205","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":53106652741944,"sku":"30725187509249010391","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ L","offer_id":53106652774712,"sku":"20666664048740292098","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":53106652807480,"sku":"95937094290967791408","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":53106652840248,"sku":"16498975511225280070","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ XL","offer_id":53106652873016,"sku":"55756896798703211625","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":53106652905784,"sku":"28009093174659085174","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":53106652938552,"sku":"99257172254904496094","price":34.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":53106652971320,"sku":"33836717126800222250","price":38.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":53106653004088,"sku":"21887409085007042027","price":38.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":53106653036856,"sku":"15155040319276817232","price":38.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":53106653069624,"sku":"32689494269541263931","price":40.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":53106653102392,"sku":"33841816107868671318","price":40.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":53106653135160,"sku":"33674837895538719312","price":40.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 4XL","offer_id":53106653167928,"sku":"18555955600796612661","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":53106653200696,"sku":"10817967334873166925","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":53106653233464,"sku":"22989189335017039686","price":44.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20261009002034-1f1c3773-e745-625e-b241-e2df3caac652.png?v=1791507573"},{"product_id":"officer-ashhole-shark-rider-hoodie","title":"Officer Ashhole Shark Rider Hoodie - Pirate Riding a Shark Graphic Pullover - Funny Gift for the Cigar Guy Who Has Everything","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do you get the cigar guy who already has the humidor, the cutter and the opinions? A pirate riding a great white shark through cannon fire, with a cigar clamped in his teeth. That is Officer Ashhole, and this is his hoodie.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo slogan and no punchline printed on it. The picture does the talking, and it gets a comment every time he wears it out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A bearded pirate in a tricorn and long coat, riding a great white shark like he has done it before\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A lit cigar in his teeth and a cutlass raised over his head\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The shark mid-lunge with its jaws wide open\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A sea battle behind them: tall ships on fire, cannon smoke and breaking waves\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Painted in deep sea teal, bone white, rust and red\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The dark parts of the art are left open, so the hoodie color shows through instead of a heavy block of ink\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The cigar smoker with a pirate streak and no interest in subtle\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The Gen X dad, husband or buddy who is impossible to shop for\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Shark people, boat people and lounge regulars\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas and Secret Santa\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Gildan SF500 Softstyle midweight pullover hoodie\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 80% ring-spun cotton, 20% polyester, with a 100% cotton face that holds the print sharp\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Medium-heavy 8.4 oz fleece\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Lined two-piece hood and a front pouch pocket\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Classic unisex fit with dropped shoulders\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Sizes S to 4XL in every color, and 5XL in select colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Four colors: Black, Navy, Forest Green and Purple\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed front and back: the shark rider on the back, a small Officer Ashhole shark crest on the left chest\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Price is for one hoodie\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out, on a gentle cycle\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine bleach only if needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Iron on low, never directly on the print\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cigar lover with a pirate streak and a sense of humor about himself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. He does not own a hoodie with a pirate riding a shark on it, and he will live in this one all winter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a classic unisex fit with dropped shoulders. Check the size chart in the photos, and size up if he likes it roomy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is calculated at checkout. Delivery takes 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash it cold and inside out on a gentle cycle, then tumble dry low.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is calculated at checkout - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools. All of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty. Every item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e☠️ Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, cigar smokers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":53107709968696,"sku":"24565203601251828345","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ S","offer_id":53107710001464,"sku":"21708645981689357477","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":53107710034232,"sku":"54125413772486260277","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":53107710067000,"sku":"14330361640991217089","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":53107710099768,"sku":"23661205812419149384","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ M","offer_id":53107710132536,"sku":"16358978131637786896","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":53107710165304,"sku":"13552367381691717876","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ M","offer_id":53107710198072,"sku":"69981092968333225327","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":53107710230840,"sku":"14055878416941349980","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ L","offer_id":53107710263608,"sku":"37687581876294029732","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":53107710296376,"sku":"22871112329240462645","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ L","offer_id":53107710329144,"sku":"18439473881027438049","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":53107710361912,"sku":"77129322071696023898","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ XL","offer_id":53107710394680,"sku":"21180984406929812978","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":53107710427448,"sku":"12374331257070109599","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ XL","offer_id":53107710460216,"sku":"10699807635511090971","price":46.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":53107710492984,"sku":"13281407058223341462","price":51.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ 2XL","offer_id":53107710525752,"sku":"25849030786228219413","price":51.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":53107710558520,"sku":"32072663736020516838","price":51.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":53107710591288,"sku":"87206191425587774529","price":51.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":53107710624056,"sku":"14449733701865372943","price":54.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ 3XL","offer_id":53107710656824,"sku":"33480830067590976142","price":54.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":53107710689592,"sku":"87799701986439469124","price":54.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":53107710722360,"sku":"28773674465110758486","price":54.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":53107710755128,"sku":"48522004674401499738","price":54.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ 4XL","offer_id":53107710787896,"sku":"32321114172700356914","price":54.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":53107710820664,"sku":"88999524038634102781","price":54.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":53107710853432,"sku":"30094384515402059222","price":54.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":53107710886200,"sku":"81105561716660105655","price":54.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":53107710918968,"sku":"24416908798515700834","price":54.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20261009011024-1f1c37e3-4f11-6080-abde-2aa3ca137e2b.png?v=1791508716"},{"product_id":"yo-ho-ho-pirate-santa-tee","title":"Funny Pirate Santa T Shirt Rock And Roll Christmas Graphic Tee Holiday Secret Santa Gift Novelty Apparel","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat do you wear to the office Christmas party when an ugly sweater just is not you? This. Santa went to sea, came back a pirate, and found out he likes loud guitars.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe has his tongue out, his rock horns up, a parrot on his shoulder and a few tentacles for company. Under him it says YO HO HO, with a little skull in a Santa hat where the middle O should be. It is Christmas, just louder.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Pirate Santa in a red tricorn hat with white fur trim\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tongue out and rock horns up\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A parrot on his shoulder\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tentacles curling around him\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- YO HO HO in big red letters, with a skull in a Santa hat for the middle O\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed on the front of the shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Secret Santa and white elephant gift swaps\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The Gen X rocker who still has the concert tees\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Pirate fans who like their Christmas with extra rum\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Office party rebels and ugly sweater dodgers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Christmas parties, bar crawls and Christmas morning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Gildan 5000 Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 100% cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- No side seams, a ribbed knit collar and taped shoulders\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Unisex fit in sizes S to 5XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Three shirt colors: Black, Navy and Midnight\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Color choice can be limited in 4XL and 5XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Made in Nicaragua\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not iron\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine bleach only, as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who loves pirates, loud music and Christmas, in any order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It is funny, it fits most people, and nobody else at the party will have one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it \/ how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a classic unisex fit in sizes S to 5XL. A size L is 22 inches wide and 30 inches long. Check the size chart in the photos before you order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Delivery takes 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry on low heat, and do not iron.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, rockers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":53122974613816,"sku":"13873536842384890585","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53122974646584,"sku":"26232383401980524094","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Midnight","offer_id":53122974679352,"sku":"22733884642280955376","price":18.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":53122974712120,"sku":"13998240988348881738","price":19.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53122974744888,"sku":"14799291525415800972","price":19.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Midnight","offer_id":53122974777656,"sku":"28039144816644766487","price":19.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":53122974810424,"sku":"20887465287695815657","price":19.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53122974843192,"sku":"26012585084916432944","price":19.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Midnight","offer_id":53122974875960,"sku":"25882138384184939642","price":19.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53122974908728,"sku":"48314957865737282954","price":19.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53122974941496,"sku":"23675899296856465904","price":19.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Midnight","offer_id":53122974974264,"sku":"17587359916190748387","price":19.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53122975007032,"sku":"34500127192667750387","price":22.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53122975039800,"sku":"21994958254700305630","price":22.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Midnight","offer_id":53122975072568,"sku":"18287920372251548768","price":22.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53122975105336,"sku":"32917071521493875668","price":23.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":53122975138104,"sku":"27975300294946845306","price":23.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Midnight","offer_id":53122975170872,"sku":"32661219377831299402","price":23.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53122975203640,"sku":"87996384058116527437","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":53122975236408,"sku":"10712574915315441485","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53122975269176,"sku":"27759911484598274503","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Black","offer_id":53122975301944,"sku":"24045853997239974173","price":24.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20261010211734-1f1c4f00-32cd-6232-b591-b6156d3292ad.png?v=1791669612"},{"product_id":"pirate-santa-t-shirt-jolly-ol-saint-roger-christmas-graphic-tee-bella-canvas-funny-gift-for-the-guy-who-has-everything","title":"Pirate Santa T-Shirt - Jolly Ol' Saint Roger Christmas Graphic Tee, Bella Canvas - Funny Gift for the Guy Who Has Everything","description":"\u003cp\u003eNeed a Christmas shirt for the pirate in your life? Meet Jolly Ol' Saint Roger. He is Santa, if Santa ran away to sea and never came back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe has a wink, a gold tooth and a candy cane where his hook should be. His parrot wears an elf cap, because every Santa needs a little helper. He knows if you have been naughty, and he thinks that is great.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Pirate Santa with a big white beard, a wink and a gold tooth\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A red tricorn hat with white fur trim\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A candy cane for a hook\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- His parrot in an elf cap with a bell\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tentacles curling around him\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- JOLLY OL' SAINT ROGER in cream and red letters, with a skull and crossbones below\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed on the front of the shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Secret Santa and white elephant gift swaps\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Pirate fans who like their Christmas a little salty\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The dad, uncle or friend who is hard to shop for\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Anyone who would rather skip the ugly sweater\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Christmas parties, bar crawls and Christmas morning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📐 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Bella+Canvas 3001 Unisex Jersey Short Sleeve Tee\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Soft, lightweight cotton jersey (4.2 oz)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Most colors are 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Black Heather is 90% cotton and 10% polyester\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Dark Grey Heather and Solid Black Blend are 52% cotton and 48% polyester\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Side seams, a ribbed knit collar, taped shoulders and a tear-away label\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Retail fit in unisex sizes XS to 5XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Seven dark shirt colors: Black, Solid Black Blend, Black Heather, Dark Grey, Vintage Black, Dark Grey Heather and Oxblood Black\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 5XL comes in Black only\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry on low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Iron or steam on medium heat\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine bleach only, as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who loves pirates and Christmas and does not mind a little mischief.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It is funny, it is soft, and nobody else at the party will have one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it \/ how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is a retail fit in unisex sizes XS to 5XL. A size L is 22 inches wide and 30 inches long. Check the size chart in the photos before you order.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Delivery takes 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold and tumble dry on low heat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, naughty listers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53127792787768,"sku":"32024427794751348314","price":20.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Dark Grey","offer_id":53127792820536,"sku":"26525899621223319751","price":20.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Dark Grey Heather","offer_id":53127792853304,"sku":"13465169350775737625","price":20.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Solid Black Blend","offer_id":53127792886072,"sku":"29006878819507829229","price":20.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Vintage 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the teacher who already owns forty mugs? A funny teacher shirt that tells the truth. By day they run the classroom. After the last bell, they answer to Captain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe words do the talking on this one, in gold and teal on a soft Comfort Colors tee. It's for the fun teacher, the one kids still talk about years later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- TEACHER BY DAY in weathered gold letters\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- PIRATE BY NIGHT in bold teal\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- An open ABC storybook across the top\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A brass compass and an anchor wrapped in a lettered banner\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A crescent moon, because the pirating starts after hours\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed on the front\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The teacher who makes class fun and has the stories to prove it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- History buffs, reading teachers, and anyone who goes all in on Talk Like a Pirate Day\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The teacher who is hard to buy for and does not need another mug\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Christmas, teacher appreciation week, back to school, end of year, or a new teacher's first day\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Grade-level teams and school staff who want matching shirts, a natural fit if your school colors are gold and teal\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📏 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1717 unisex garment-dyed t-shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 100% ring-spun cotton, dyed after it's sewn, so it feels broken in from the first wear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Relaxed fit, true to size, S through 4XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Nine shirt colors, including Black, Blue Jean, Denim, Midnight, Orchid and Yam. Check the dropdown for what's in stock right now\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed to order in the USA\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low or hang dry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- No bleach, and don't iron directly on the design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTeachers who take the lesson seriously and everything else with a grin. It's also for anyone who needs a gift for one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Teachers get mugs, candles and apple ornaments every year. This pirate teacher shirt shows you know them, and it's funny enough to get worn on a Friday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it \/ how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eComfort Colors fits relaxed and true to size, S through 4XL. Want it roomy? Go up one size. Full measurements are in the size chart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Each shirt is printed to order in the U.S. and arrives in 2-8 business days, depending on where you live.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash cold and inside out, tumble dry low, and keep the iron off the print. Garment-dyed cotton gets softer with every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, teachers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":53128317010232,"sku":"32774471985074328477","price":21.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":53128317043000,"sku":"23580198146680302856","price":21.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":53128317075768,"sku":"51891042992029316146","price":21.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Denim \/ S","offer_id":53128317108536,"sku":"16887237962242059805","price":21.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Graphite \/ 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An apple in an eyepatch. This vintage tattoo style teacher shirt has a storybook that turns into a treasure map and a compass that points to Read, Write, Learn and Grow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTeaching is a long shift. This one is for the teacher who runs a tight ship all day, keeps twenty-five small mutineers in line, and still has stories left after the bell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A red apple wearing a pirate eyepatch\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- An open book with ABCs on one page and a treasure map on the other, X marks the spot\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A brass compass with Read, Write, Learn and Grow where the compass points should be\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- An anchor wrapped in a lettered banner\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A crescent moon, because the pirating happens after hours\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Hand-drawn vintage lettering in cream, gold and red\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Teachers who run a tight ship and know it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Reading, literacy and English teachers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Elementary and middle school staff\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Librarians, aides, subs, and anyone who has survived a field trip\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Christmas, teacher appreciation week, back to school, and end of year thank-yous\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Anyone whose gift cupboard already has enough mugs\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📏 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Comfort Colors 1717 unisex garment-dyed t-shirt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- 100% ring-spun cotton, heavier than a standard tee and soft-washed, so it feels broken in from day one\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Unisex fit, true to size, S through 4XL\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Ten shirt colors, including Black, Navy, Blue Jean and Moss. Check the dropdown for what's in stock right now\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed to order in the USA\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low or hang dry\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not iron directly on the design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe teacher who runs a tight ship and would rather be called formidable than nice. Reading and literacy teachers, elementary and middle school staff, librarians, aides and subs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Teachers get mugs, candles and apple ornaments every single year. Almost none of them get a vintage tattoo pirate shirt, and this one is specific enough to prove you thought about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it \/ how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnisex fit, true to size, S through 4XL. Want room for layering? Go up one size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Each shirt is printed to order in the U.S. and arrives in 2-8 business days, depending on where you live.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash cold and inside out, tumble dry low or hang dry, and keep the iron off the print. The design is printed direct-to-garment, so the ink soaks into the fabric instead of sitting on top.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, teachers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":53128329560376,"sku":"22326321670631894769","price":21.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":53128329593144,"sku":"81857971676506766805","price":21.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":53128329625912,"sku":"96662629889122933521","price":21.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":53128329658680,"sku":"30198240784233183699","price":21.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Seafoam \/ 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loggerheads are running.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is that, drawn the old way. A full vintage engraving of a sea turtle on a moonlit beach, sea oats bent around her, the moon sitting fat over open water. It is the kind of line work somebody used to scratch into whalebone with a lot of time and a steady hand. Small seal on the front, the whole scene across the back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🐢 About The Oldest Mariners\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLoggerheads have been doing this for more than a hundred million years. Longer than there have been ships. Longer than there were people around to build them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery summer the mothers come ashore after midnight, dig past the tide line, leave a hundred eggs or more behind, and slip back into the black water before sunrise. One female might do it four times in a season. Sometimes eight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTwo months later the sand starts to move. A whole handful of hatchlings comes up at once, each one small enough to sit in your palm, and every one of them answers the same question its kind has always answered. Which way is the sea? They cannot smell it. They do not remember it. They read the light, the bright sky over open water, and they run for it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen they are gone for thirty years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat is what is on this shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚓ What's In The Design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Front: a small engraved seal on the left chest\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Back: the full scene, a loggerhead on the sand beneath a full moon\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Sea oats and dune grass framing open water\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- A hatchling set inside a rope medallion\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- THE OLDEST MARINERS overhead, SAVE OUR SEA TURTLES on the banner below\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Pirate Cigar at Darkwater Alley and the year at the foot\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Antique gold and bone ink on dark shirt colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Vintage engraving line work, no gradients, so it prints crisp and stays crisp\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏴‍☠️ Who This Is For\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- The sea turtle person. You already know exactly who they are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Beach walkers, nest watchers, and anyone who has ever roped off a patch of sand\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Divers, boaters, snorkelers, and Gulf Coast lifers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Turtle patrol volunteers who are out before sunrise all season\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Anyone who likes their nature art old, detailed, and not the least bit cute\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, beach trips, and turtle season\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📏 The Details\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Gildan Softstyle 64000 unisex t-shirt, lightweight (153 g\/m²) and soft year-round\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Black, Navy and Military Green are 100% ring-spun cotton. Dark Heather is 35% ring-spun cotton and 65% polyester\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- No side seams, a ribbed crew neck, and taped shoulders so it keeps its shape\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed front and back, with a tear-away label\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- OEKO-TEX STANDARD 100 certified, made with ethically grown and harvested US cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Unisex fit, true to size, S through 3XL. Check the dropdown for the sizes in each color\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Printed to order in the USA\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 Care\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash cold (max 30C or 90F) with similar colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry low\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Do not bleach and do not dry clean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Iron on low heat, never directly on the design\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❓ Quick Answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWho is this for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe sea turtle person in your life. The one who knows when the nests were laid, walks the beach at dawn in season, and can tell a loggerhead from a green from fifty feet away. Also anyone who just likes good old engraving art on a soft shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who's hard to shop for?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Turtle people get a lot of gifts with cartoon turtles on them. Almost nobody gets a real vintage engraving of a loggerhead on a moonlit beach, printed front and back. It is specific enough to prove you paid attention to what they care about.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow big is it \/ how does it fit?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnisex fit, true to size, S through 3XL. It is a lightweight tee with no side seams. Size up one if you want it roomier. Full measurements are in the size chart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow long does shipping take, and is it free?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShipping is free in the U.S. Each shirt is printed to order in the U.S. and arrives in 2-8 business days, depending on where you live.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I care for it?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold with similar colors, tumble dry low, no bleach, no dry cleaning. Iron on low and never directly on the design.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 Shipping Info\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping in the U.S. - delivery in 2-8 business days depending on your location.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ AI Content Note\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of our designs are made with the help of AI illustration tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll of our mockups are AI-generated, so the real thing may vary a little in placement and color - models ain't cheap and we ain't pretty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery item is made to order, which keeps waste and overproduction down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💀 Thank You\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThanks for grabbing something that speaks your language. Every order keeps indie creators alive, caffeinated, and just snarky enough to keep making the weird pirate stuff big box stores would never touch. Appreciate you more than a smooth ash and a steady draw. ⛵\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned by DastardlyDuoDesign\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDastardly Duo Designs - conversation pieces for pirates, beachcombers, and other respectable troublemakers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":53128544747832,"sku":"28538959608172362810","price":22.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53128544780600,"sku":"25700604588652979954","price":22.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Military Green","offer_id":53128544813368,"sku":"33825017909432522905","price":22.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53128544846136,"sku":"13534758286612422331","price":22.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":53128544878904,"sku":"12369834821982827731","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53128544911672,"sku":"18251387619287851064","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Military Green","offer_id":53128544944440,"sku":"24935628206908861451","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53128544977208,"sku":"13284812047070273060","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":53128545009976,"sku":"18634097582356001828","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53128545042744,"sku":"10612352858178093450","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Military Green","offer_id":53128545075512,"sku":"19591646538021499528","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53128545108280,"sku":"16258938399185409663","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53128545141048,"sku":"21461144332658414330","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53128545173816,"sku":"24057724008221485180","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Military Green","offer_id":53128545206584,"sku":"16941708903761630812","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53128545239352,"sku":"28669478529570844472","price":26.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53128545272120,"sku":"58194984859913312669","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53128545304888,"sku":"12906580574444158166","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Military Green","offer_id":53128545337656,"sku":"27551192538902805453","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53128545370424,"sku":"11485491268531008919","price":28.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53128545403192,"sku":"28201004630400227934","price":29.88,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0998\/6061\/1384\/files\/20261012021821-1f1c5e33-25a6-6738-a7b0-c24c9fae29fa.png?v=1791771690"}],"url":"https:\/\/dastardlyduodesigns.com\/collections\/apparel.oembed","provider":"Dastardly Duo Designs","version":"1.0","type":"link"}